Saturday, January 1, 2011

A List of Some People I am Not Like

Anyone who thinks that Harrison Ford is the star of The Fugitive,and not Tommy Lee "gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, and dog house" Jones. But then, I am unlike Harrison Ford fans generally. Ford looks uncomfortable. That's his entire acting repertoire. (I know: sometimes he grins, but that's not acting, that's just -- icky.)

Dan Brown fans, believers in Bible Codes, people who think Merlin is more than a fictional character, (People who think Geoffrey of Monmouth wasn't an a-hole.) people who like that new McDonald's commercial in which the kid who just got his driver's license is sadistically tormented by his family, (At the very least, some McDonald's executives must have liked it, and presumably some people are under the impression that it is going over well with large segments of the population, otherwise why would it be airing so often?) (Why would anyone want a kid who just got his driver's license to snap while he's behind the wheel?) fans of McDonald's generally and anyone who doesn't at least wince at most of their commercials, people who don't think they have enough crescents, if there actually are any such on Earth, (People who don't watch a lot of TV.) people who like Celine Dion, Kenny G, Air Supply, Milli Vanilli, Heather Locklear, Angela Lansbury, Micky Rooney, James Cagney, Frank Capra, Milos Foreman...

People who don't listen to what scientists have to say about crystals, pyramids, psychics, ghosts, huge ancient alien construction in stone on Earth, global warming, the history of the Jews and of the Old Testament and of the Holy Grail and the Merovingians and the Priory of Sion and the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Catholic Church in general and the Masons -- in short, there are many who walk among us than whom I am quite different. In a word: morons. The Earth is rife with them, like Newman with fleas. I must keep in mind that they are everywhere: on the highways and byways and the sidewalks, in the bookstores and publishing houses and in the TV networks and on the editorial boards of periodicals and web presences, in the United States House of Representatives and on my block.