Thursday, August 9, 2012

If Romney Told the Truth

Earlier today someone speculated that the next Romney ad might attack Obama for smoking cigarettes. Which of course is an absurd thought, because Obama actually has smoked cigarettes, and the Romney campaign avoids truth the way Frankenstein's monster avoids fire.

It'd be neat if Romney released some honest ads. (Not to mention those friggin tax returns!) Imagine along with me:

"Romney: Because you'd rather see yacht sales skyrocket than poor people catch a break."

"Romney: More lies in one week than JFK told in a year. And JFK was gettin busy."

And of course: "Romney: he's white." (As we speak, the Romney campaign may be trying to hire Newt Gingrich to hint at that one. Back around the time Newt dropped out of the nomination race, Chris Matthews, whom I trust not to talk out of his ass as much as I trust Harry Reid -- which is to say I regard him as a solid source -- seemed convinced that Newt was furious at Mitt, because of Mitt's low blows and lies during the GOP primary debates, and would stab him in the back if he ever got a chance. Is this Newt's chance? Will he take a gig from the Romney campaign, with them expecting him to smear Obama, and instead ask, in front of Republicans from coast to coast, why Romney won't release those tax returns the way everyone else does these days who's running for President, the same way he asked during those debates, only with people paying attention this time? That would be really cool. If Newt does that I could imagine almost respecting him for a little while. [A half-hour or so. Let's not get carried away.])

"Romney: Creating jobs. Sweatshop jobs in China and India. Admit it, you really like all your inexpensive sweatshop products."

"Romney: Because you hate unions, teachers, firemen, blacks, women and Catholics. Biden's Catholic! Catholic and a liberal! One heartbeat away! After LBJ and Hoover went to all that trouble!"

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