Friday, February 14, 2014


Interior of BRENDAN FRAZER's office. BRENDAN, LUDACRIS and TWO UNIFORMED LAPD OFFICERS. It's been some years since CRASH was filmed, and the plot picks up just several days later, so BRENDAN's and LUDACRIS' roles may have to be re-cast. Unless they've been taking very good care of themselves, in which case, great.

BREN: (makes a slight gesture in the direction of the police officers, and they exit) We know what you did.

CRIS: (is unable to completely stifle a gesture of panic)

BREN: No, I'm not talking about you stealing a car, although I imagine you've stolen a few. I'm not talking about that revolver my guys took off of you. I've seen your arrest record. Not talking about that either. People in my office come across things like all of the above, day-in, day-out, and it generally doesn't warrant my personal attention. The reason I'm talking to you is those Thailanders. A dozen people, kidnapped in a small village out in the jungle back home, enslaved, shipped to LA like cattle, probably had some fairly horrible fates awaiting them -- but you, a guy known to my office so far exclusively for bad acts, you set them free, spring for a free meal for all of them and then disappear. Did you think those Thailanders would just forget about you? Think you were somehow going to avoid being a hero, to them, at the very least, if not to many other people? This is an extraordinary thing, a civilian rescuing a dozen slaves. I really haven't figured out yet how best to handle this situation, other than to try to convince you that we don't plan to prosecute you for anything in this case, no matter how extensively you may have been involved in it.

CRIS: I wasn't involved in it until I saw them in the back of the truck. We both know I'm not an Eagle Scout, but I'm not a fuckin slave trader either.

BREN: Like I said, we don't plan to prosecute you for anything. As long as you don't lie to us about this case.

CRIS: I'm not lyin! I never enslaved anybody! I found them in that truck.

BREN: After you stole the truck?

CRIS: Look, Sir, ("Sir" is spoken with some sarcastic emphasis) don't be offended if I don't completely trust you right away. I don't imagine you trust people you just met. So you want to make me into a big hero?

BREN: Yes I do.

CRIS: Probably including me helping you bust a slave-trading operation?

BREN: Yes. That's what I want.

CRIS: Well, cool. Let's get some lawyers in here and draw up an immunity agreement, and then we can talk some more.

BREN: Great! I know some good people in the Public Defender's office --

CRIS: Ahhhhh, no offense to those good people in the PD's office, but I got a guy. Got his card right here.

BREN: Julie! (JULIE comes in. She's either Angela Bassett or someone else about as beautiful) Get ahold of Mr Cris' attorney, would you, and get him over here. (JULIE takes the card from CRIS and leaves) You want some lunch? I was going to have something delivered.

CRIS: You askin if I want to have lunch with you?

BREN: Yeah.

CRIS: Well la-dee-da.

BREN: Yeah, imagine that. What do you want for lunch?

CRIS: I don't know. What were you going to have?

BREN: I'm the fuckin DA. You can have anything you want for lunch.

CRIS: Can we go out? You ready to be seen in broad daylight with your new pal the hero?

BREN: The answer is: no, I'm not 100% sure yet that I trust you. Let me just make sure first that you really are my pal and a hero. Then tomorrow maybe we'll go someplace fancy for lunch.

CRIS: One of those places they have reservations two years in advance?

BREN: Yeah. One a those.

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