Wednesday, March 4, 2015

The Salon Capital-G "God" Fake Outrage

"jeeberz! wee awl hav t start ritin 'God' sted uh 'god' cause sum dweeb at salon sez so."

"No we don't."

"o thatz rite, wee dont."

"Nope. We can write His name however we want to, the same way everybody else in the Western world can, ever since the Inquisition closed up in the early 19th century, if not for much longer than that."

"so whyz so mennie peeple so upset bout this?"

"That's a darn good question, Sparky. I think maybe sometimes people who have no real problems like to pretend that they do."

"i meen -- in sum partz uv th whirled, atheists actually R persekyootid!"

"That's right, Sparky."

"i meen - whut if sum atheist iz n jale n packastan jest fr bein a atheist, n mabee sheez gunna face eksuhkyootion jest fr bein a atheist, n what if shee heres bout theez doofuses ovr heer screemin bluddy merder n nobody DID nothn tue thm? howz shee gunna feel?"

"I wouldn't blame her a bit if she felt disgusted, Sparky."

"i mite start ritn 'God' jest to spight sum a theez doofusuhz with no reel problums!"

'Again -- you and I are free to rite Gawd however we feel like writing it. Just as free as we were before Salon's grammar Nazis stirred up all these dweebs. The other day I decided to started capitalizing 'He' and 'His' and so forth, when referring to God and Jeebus. I stopped capitalizing those pronouns a couple of years ago because I felt peer pressure from dweebs just like these ones."

"good fr yu, perfessr! yu no, uv kors, whut most peepl uv dun t grammr notsees az long az thair hav bin grammr notsees."

"What's that?"

"ugnor um! yu nu that, perfessr!"

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course. This dweeb at Salon must be elated. He probably hasn't gotten this much attention in -- ever."

"i NO, perfessr!"

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