By the way, if you're thinking about getting me some watch straps or bracelets or entire watches or just giving me huge crates of cash or large parcels of real estate, first of all, thank you, that's so sweet! But secondly and very importantly, if you get me a watch strap, get me the longest one they got, whether that option is labeled "long," or "extra long," or "Seriously, what are you, a gorilla?" or whatever the case may be. Who could've known that a guy who's 6'3", 300 lbs and constantly lifts weights and 100 lb balls and heavy sandbags and so forth would end up having big wrists, eh? And, yet, apparently, my wrists are somewhat large. Watch bands made for normal humans just don't work.
(I know: I'm seething with greed, always thinking about what I will get, me me me, shower me with money and watch straps and sand bags, and I know it's not an attractive feature. You know that episode of "Ren & Stimpy" which begins with Ren and Stimpy saying their prayers before going to bed, and Stimpy finishes his prayers by saying, "-- and most importantly of all, please look after my dear, dear friend Ren!" and Ren finishes his prayers by saying, "-- and please give me a million dollars, and -- oooh! Huge pectoral muscles!" Makes me laugh and laugh whenever I think about it, because I know I'm just like Ren: surrounded by sweet loving Stimpys, but seething with greed, me me me. I know it's not a great way to be. Well, maybe I've heard it's not a great way to be. Maybe I'm thinking about it. Anyway, I'm not the one on trial here! This post is about NATO watch bands.)
At first I thought that NATO was an acronym for "nylon (something) (something) (something)" bands, but actually, they're called NATO bands because they were first used by NATO, the military alliance. The one-piece design keeps metal off of your wrist -- which may have been more important decades ago, when watch cases might be more prone to corrosion. I don't know. It surprised me to learn that keeping metal off of the wrist was a priority, and I'm just guessing as to why that was -- and also keeps the watch on your wrist if one of the spring bars breaks. The typical NATO strap is made from woven nylon fabric, although now that they're getting popular we're beginning to see more and more made in leather and other materials.
On a conventional watch strap, the spring bars go through holes on either end of the strap -- or to be more precise: on the end of each of the strap's two pieces -- and then are fitted into holes in the watch case. With a NATO band, the spring bars are put in place in the case first. Then you thread the strap through the bars, passing it over the back of the watch,
and then fasten it around your wrist in your choice of various ways. Of course, with the strap going over the back of the watch, that means the view of the watch's back window, if it has one, is blocked. But it's not very difficult to slip the strap the band out for a peek through the window, and then back in again to wear the watch.
Easy or not, though, I don't WANT to have to take off the strap in order to be able to look through the window.
Maybe what watches do is just keep pointing out to you more and more ways how the world isn't perfect. Or maybe: more and more unimportant ways one can be dissatisfied with a wonderful world? Hmm.
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