Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Awful Truth Slips Out

(Just now someone very kindly mentioned that they were going to bookmark my blog, and this is how I responded)

No! Please! Please! Don't bookmark my blog, I beg of you!

Actually, I'm very pleased when anyone reads my blog -- that's right, even him, over there -- and I'm even more pleased when they become official "followers" of it, and when they make comments on the blog. I want more and more people to do these things, and I want them to link my blog on their blogs, and I want Oprah Winfrey and Charlie Rose to praise my blog on their TV shows and put the URL up on the screen, and I want to become rich and famous and have my blog posts collected into bestselling books, and be a frequent guest on Conan O'Brian and Jimmy Kimmel and I want to hang out with Thomas Pynchon and Salman Rushdie and have a stormy celebrity romance with Chelsea Handler with pictures of us constantly in the tabloids over misleading headlines, and --


(Well, it's out there now, nothing I can do about it. It's out there, and it's the truth. Especially the part about Chelsea Handler. She's so good-looking, sometimes it almost makes me cry.)

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