Mr Ex-President Clinton, You Compared The POTUS To WHAT?!

Yr busted, Bill: Mark Halperin and John Heilemann have a new book coming out about the 2012 Presidential campaign, and in it they tell the world that during the campaign you often referred to Barack as "luckier than a dog with two dicks."

A few thoughts, Sir. For one thing, that was skill, not luck. I would've thought a consummately professional politician like you would have less trouble spotting another one. Maybe the way Barack beat Hillary in 2008 just got under your skin and stayed there, I don't know, but it's remarkable the way you seem to underestimate the abilities of our current Commander-in-Chief, who has accomplished quite a lot in the teeth of a stupendous, still-ongoing effort on the part of the GOP to sabotage every thing he does. Barack's lucky they can't shoot straight? It'd be a lot luckier for him if they weren't shooting at him at all, and behaving like normal stupid reactionary partly-civilized Republicans.

Another thing. I know you didn't plan for this remark to go public, but still, are you really the sort of person who should ever compare anyone else to that kind of dog? I love you, Bill, but the jokes are just making themselves. It's hard to imagine how happy Bill Maher and Jay Leno have been made by this. I hope for your sake that you've developed a thick skin about those jokes.

Most of all, though, to me it just seems like a shame. Imagine what the three of you, you, Hillary and Barack, could accomplish if all three of you LIKED each other! Look how much you and Barack have done while not liking each other very much at all. I just don't get it, it just seems to me that the two of you were made to be pulling the same way on the same rope all the time. Maybe that just shows that I don't know a thing about how politics works up there at your level. Maybe it's sort of like how a football team can't have two quarterbacks on the field at once, or something like that.

Or maybe I'm completely right and it's nothing but a damn shame and a waste that the three of you -- or maybe I should say the four of you, because who knows how much of a politician Michelle is going to turn out to be? -- don't all get along.