Saturday, October 10, 2015

People Say Things Which Amaze Me And I Hurry Over Here And Blog About It

You know the drill.

In this case it was somebody who was in a strictly monogamous relationship. Very very strictly, from his point of view. He said that even flirting was unacceptable. And this wasn't a Jihadist, it was an atheist who claimed to be very liberal. Still, I sort of wish there were some way I could encourage his friend to blink twice if she's being held against her will. (Hmm. Maybe not blinking twice: who knows, he might interpret that as batting her eyelashes in a flirtatious manner, and then who knows what he might do.)

I certainly know what it is to get jealous, but I don't know if I could respect a woman who never, ever flirted. Flirting is sort of like farting: it may be offensive to a lot of people, but it's perfectly natural, and it's far from the end of the world.

There is such a wide variety of human behavior in sexuality. One of my favorite moments from "Rosanne," one of my favorite sitcoms, is when Fred and Dan are talking about their sex lives with Jackie and Roseanne, respectively, and it seems that Dan and Roseanne are much more adventurous than Fred. Actually, the problem seems to be that Jackie wants to be much more adventurous than Fred does. Jackie and Fred have had sex in the bedroom, and that's it, and Fred would like it to stay that way -- Jackie, not so much. Fred tells Dan that the subject of having sex in the car has come up. The very idea seems to appall Fred. Dan is trying to tell Fred that he needs to loosen up and be more open to some of his partner's ideas, that being more adventurous could help their relationship. And here comes my favorite moment:

"Dan, do you ever have sex with Roseanne in your car?" "Hell, Fred, I've had sex with Roseanne in YOUR car."

My point in this post is not that people should have sex in cars, or that they should avoid having sex in cars, or that it's better to be adventurous or unadventurous. My point is that people are very different in many ways. Sex is only only one of many examples. Or I should say: sex is just one category of human behavior, which offers many examples of differences from one human being to the next.

Flirting and farting: some people have said that one of the highlights of intimacy for them is when they get so close to someone that they can enjoy each other's farts. I haven't been there. It's one thing if you're asleep, people fart now and then in their sleep, they can't help it. But to me -- even if I'm in love with you -- if you're awake, and you feel a gaseous moment coming on, it would be nice, if it's convenient, if you would excuse yourself and go a certain distance away until you've got that all worked out.

So who's the freak here -- me? Am I some sort of cold, unfeeling robot, since I've never allowed myself to get that close to someone? Or are the fart-sniffing connoisseurs disgusting, dog-like animals because they sniff each other's butts? No: I'm not unfeeling and they're not disgusting. We're human. Human ideas, opinions and behavior are diverse. And there's nothing wrong with that.

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