Apple has released a new, inexpensive version of the iPhone and they can't sell it because it won't make anyone envious.
I can honestly say that I have never envied anyone for having purchased an Apple product. Now of course, a lot of you Apple people will read that and think either that I have no idea what I'm missing, or that I'm lying, that I really am envious. And that doesn't bother me either. And a lot of you will read that and think I'm lying, or that I just don't understand.
I was walking around in NYC in 1996 with my brother and I saw what looked to me at first to be a line of homeless people waiting outside of a soup kitchen for some grub. But it was a strange-looking group of homeless people, different from most homeless: just as dirty and scruffy and haphazardly-dressed, but almost all of this group were white and overweight. Then I realized that they weren't homeless people waiting for food, they were idiots waiting in line for $10 tickets for that evening's performance of Rent. (Tickets for Broadways shows were normally $50 or so and up at the time, and popular shows were sold out way in advance, but because Rent was so "hip," they always held a certain number of tickets for each show, to be given to whomever had gotten in line for them early enough and paid $10. Which meant that every day people were camping out in line in front of the theatre overnight. How "bohemian," eh? I don't know if or how scalping of those $10 tickets was prevented, and you know what? Don't care about that either.) I'm certain, I don't have any actual stats but I mean I just know, that many of those douchebags in line for the $10 Rent tickets have been networking since then as mid-level execs at Starbuck's or Trader Joe's and now stand in line at the Apple Stores and have iPhones. And will never believe that someone like me feels sorry for them or understand why I would, because they're idiots and there's a whole lot of things they will never understand. Like how Steve Jobs understood how many people are idiots and still have massive amounts of disposable income, and understood how to organize them into massive lemming-like herds consumed with desire to buy anything he dangled in front of them.
As long as it was unreasonably expensive.