Saturday, January 6, 2018

Just Look at How Smart and Down To Earth I Am! Look, Everybody, Look!

POLITICO reports:

Enraged by widespread speculation about his mental state and fitness for office, President Donald Trump defended himself on Twitter Saturday morning as "very smart" and "a stable genius" amid allegations contained in an incendiary book about the Trump administration released this week.

“Now that Russian collusion, after one year of intense study, has proven to be a total hoax on the American public, the Democrats and their lapdogs, the Fake News Mainstream Media, are taking out the old Ronald Reagan playbook and screaming mental stability and intelligence.....” the president tweeted at 7:19 a.m., hours before a scheduled meeting with congressional GOP leaders at Camp David.

Several minutes later, Trump added: “...Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star..... President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius....and a very stable genius at that!"

Yeah, that's what we mentally-stable geniuses do when someone implies that we're stupid or crazy: we become enraged and constantly tell everybody how smart and stable we are and how there's nothing wrong with our hands or anything else if you know what I mean!

I'm a million times smarter than Trump the Chump! I'm also amazingly good-looking, probably just the best-looking man there has ever been. I don't put a photo of myself on my icon because hetero women and gay men would be passing out left and right from mad desire when they're trying to get stuff done on Facebook. Look at these supposedly "sexiest men alive"! Johnny Depp?! Bradley Cooper?! Harold Bloom?! Sad! Next to me they all look like girls! UGLY girls you wouldn't even want to harrass! I'm also extraordinarily non-crazy. Completely sane. Amazingly so. Top-flight sanity experts are always saying so. Just yesterday, on one of my many private jets, the Chairman of the Vienna Psychoanalysis Association was running up and down the aisle, screaming and clutching his hair and cursing, because I was so sane, so intelligent and so sexy that it drove him mad with envy!

I can read and write and speak a thousand languages fluently! No -- a MILLION!!! No -- saying "fluently" implies that I read and write and speak as well as native speakers, when obviously I do it much gooder than them all!!! Everyone who is HONEST and not being paid off by Crooked Hillary and Sloppy Steve acknowledges this! It's so obvious that Crooked Hillary and Sloppy Steve have secretly been in this together right from the start! It's another "classic" Chinese hoax!

It's obvious that America is simply too intimidated by me to elect me President. That's pathetic. But of course my life is still the envy of ALL! That's why they're writing all of these bad things about me -- which are all completely untrue, obviously. It's obvious that they're all lying -- out of sheer envy! I'm so cool in every way that it makes them all want to scream!

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