And I'm feeling a bit frustrated myself, frustrated by the whole not-being-rich-and-famous thing. But I'm not completely crazed by the frustration, not yet. (Although I realize, of course, that anyone who ever says "I'm not crazy" must add, in order to be logical: " -- at least I don't THINK I'm crazy. But if I WAS crazy, how would I KNOW?")
Before he went completely insane all at once early in 1889, Nietzsche had reconciled himself, or so he claimed, with his lack of popular success. Some writers, he said, were destined to be recognized only posthumously, and he counted himself among those. He was wrong about that. He became very famous before he died -- but, unfortunately, not until he had been completely insane for several years. Which kinda spoils it in a way.
Some of you may be asking, "What th' Heck, Steve -- are you actually comparing yourself to Nietzsche now?!"
Yes, I actually am. I finally got tired of just sitting back and waiting for others to start comparing me to people like Nietzsche -- not because of the tragedy of his biography but for the brilliance of his writing. Yeah, I actually am comparing myself to the greatest writers who ever lived. In part because I want to be rich and famous. But also in part because I actually think I'm one of the greatest writers who ever lived, there, I said it. I DESERVE to be rich and famous, there, I said that too.
I deserve huge success BEFORE I die or go completely insane from waiting. (Assuming that I haven't actually already gone completely insane because if I had how would I know?)
When I read Nietzsche saying that when he reads Spinoza he knows that they are kindred spirits, I know what that's like. I feel exactly the same way about Nietzsche. (Although not in every single detail: I don't share Nietzsche's sexism, and I'm a socialist and he was an ivory-tower guy who claimed to be "above" politics. I got over the ivory-tower kind of silliness many years ago.) I feel less so about Spinoza because I'm not nearly as fluent in Latin as I am in German.
Oh well, here I go, pushing "Publish" again and hoping that this post will be The One --