I Didn't Watch The Oscars. Here's My Report

I did see a black film award show on Fusion that aired when the Oscars were on. Robin Thicke won the award for Most Helpful White Person.

Mad Max: Fury Road was nominated for Best Picture?! That ain't right. I've seen it, and it was good -- but only compared to other George Miller movies. Not as wrong as James Cameron movies being nominated for Oscars, let alone winning them, but pretty wrong.

Fury Road is the only one of the Best Picture nominees I've seen so far. Spotlight won. I don't know if I ever even heard of Spotlight before this. I know I can't picture what it's about or who's in it. Same with 2 other of this year's Best Picture nominees, Room and Brooklyn. This is good: it means that the Academy is moving away from honoring films which are crap, just because they're commercial. (Fury Road, of course, shows that they still have a way to go in this positive regard.)

Okay, I remember now, I actually have heard about Spotlight and seen commercials/trailers for it: it's the movie about the reporters exposing child abuse by Catholic priests, with Mark Ruffalo.

Bryan Cranston was nominated for portraying Dalton Trumbo in a movie called Trumbo, another movie of which I was unaware before reviewing a list of the awards just now. It's nice to see Cranston get an Oscar nomination. That makes 6 Emmys and 1 Tony won, plus now 1 Oscar nomination for Cranston.

Of course, Leo won for The Revenant. You didn't have to watch the Oscar show to know that already: not living in a cave far from civilization with no neighbors and no hook-up probably sufficed for you to have heard lots of talk that he was the heavy favorite, and then that he won. And of course you've probably seen that commercial/trailer for The Revenant over and over too. I've learned not to base my opinions of movies or TV shows based on trailers, but man oh man am I tired of that trailer.

Oh, okay, Brie Larson won for Best Actress. I kept thinking of Bree Olsen. But they're 2 entirely different people.

I had also never heard of Alicia Vikander, the Best Supporting Actress winner. Mark Rylance's name (Best Supporting Actor winner) didn't ring a bell at all, but then I saw his picture and thought, Oh, that guy! I've seen that guy, sure. Just didn't know his name. Good for him. Now lessee, what have I seen him in? Then I looked at his filmography and televisionography, and, actually, no, I've never seen this guy before. I guess he has one of those faces that looks familiar.

Well, I think most of us can agree that this charade of a blog post has gone on long enough. I know that writing a post like this when I've seen just one of the Best Picture nominees and none of any of the pictures nominated in other categories just gives ammunition to the people who say that my blog is badly written and that I am... I don't honestly know: a bad person, a pretentious person, a ridiculous person, a fool, all of the above? I don't know exactly what bug is up those people's butts. But what those people don't know is that the thought that they think that I care about what they think is good writing makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.