I Turn 55 Tomorrow

I wonder whether Jon, a building contractor who was my next-door neighbor for 8 years, but he renovated his own house and put it up for sale and the For Sale sign disappeared a few days ago, will come and knock on my door tomorrow, and pretend to be very concerned about something, and ask me to please come next door with him right away because there's an emergency and he'll tell me about it when we get there, and when we get there the house will be full of people, and they all yell "Happy Birthday!" and someone will explain that the For Sale sign went away because a bunch of them got together and chipped in and bought me the house for my birthday, and people will take me around the house and exclaim about how many bookshelves and coffee table and desks with reading/writing lamps there are, and they'll also mention that there was enough when they chipped in that they also got me a $55,000 tax-free annuity so I wouldn't have to worry about money ever again, and also a few million dollars in cash, and

a platinum Rolex Cosmograph Daytona with the ice-blue dial and also

a few other nice solid gold and platinum watches and other gifts, and if there will be a video of Andrew Wylie apologizing for not being at my party in person, and saying that he loved my blog and wondered whether we could do business, and if I was interested please call him next week?

That would be nice. Of course, what I really want most of all is exactly the same thing that millions of other people want: for Bernie to concede and endorse Hillary. But I don't think that will happen. Ever. And so I'll just have to try to be happy with and grateful for whatever I get.