Showing posts with label Chelsea Handler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chelsea Handler. Show all posts

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Awful Truth Slips Out

(Just now someone very kindly mentioned that they were going to bookmark my blog, and this is how I responded)

No! Please! Please! Don't bookmark my blog, I beg of you!

Actually, I'm very pleased when anyone reads my blog -- that's right, even him, over there -- and I'm even more pleased when they become official "followers" of it, and when they make comments on the blog. I want more and more people to do these things, and I want them to link my blog on their blogs, and I want Oprah Winfrey and Charlie Rose to praise my blog on their TV shows and put the URL up on the screen, and I want to become rich and famous and have my blog posts collected into bestselling books, and be a frequent guest on Conan O'Brian and Jimmy Kimmel and I want to hang out with Thomas Pynchon and Salman Rushdie and have a stormy celebrity romance with Chelsea Handler with pictures of us constantly in the tabloids over misleading headlines, and --

Nevermind.

(Well, it's out there now, nothing I can do about it. It's out there, and it's the truth. Especially the part about Chelsea Handler. She's so good-looking, sometimes it almost makes me cry.)