As Far As I Can Tell, This Really Is An Article From The National Review, Not A Satire

The piece by Jim Geraghty is entitled Liberals Can’t Tell the Difference Between ‘Satire’ and News, and GOP Presidential Campaigns Are Paying the Price.

My -- my what? My Schadenfreude? -- begins with the title of the piece. Is Geraghty really trying to tell us that political satire is why the GOP Presidential campaigns are in trouble? As opposed to them being in trouble because they're so easy to satirize?

Onward. The first sentence of the article -- from June 2015 -- is:

"Have you noticed your liberal friends on Facebook spotlighting some unbelievably shocking comments from Republican presidential candidates lately?"

Does Geraghty really believe that a lot of his readers have liberal friends?

Onward. Geraghty goes on to decry the fact that liberals are posting things on Facebook which are not true. Quotes alleging to be from people like Ted Cruz and Ben Carson containing things which Cruz and Carson never said!

Mendacity!

Thank goodness Geraghty alerted us to this! Imagine -- things posted on Facebook which are inaccurate!?! ???

I gotta go back to the title of the article again: Liberals Can’t Tell the Difference Between ‘Satire’ and News, and GOP Presidential Campaigns Are Paying the Price.

It's true that some liberals can't. Some liberals, to borrow a phrase from liberal icon Hunter S Thompson, are too dumb to pour piss out of a boot. But some of us liberals can tell the difference between satire and news, and some of us, when we're not sure, actually go to the trouble of researching purported quotes to find out whether or not they are genuine. You see, headlines like that, implying that either all liberals or liberals in general are either too dumb or too lazy or too intellectually dishonest to tell the difference, are one of the reasons -- just one! -- why I become skeptical of this talk about the "liberal friends" of Geraghty's readers.

It's true, conservatives are misquoted all the time. Just like everybody else. But that's not really the problem. My Schadenfreude ends where it began. The problem here, for conservatives, is that if the targets of satire don't resemble the satire to a great degree, the satire doesn't work, neither as misinformation nor as humor. It's true, just as Geraghty says in this article, that Sarah Palin never said that she could see Russia from her house. Tina Fey said it in a send-up of Palin in September 2008 on "Saturday Night Live." But Fey really isn't the problem here. If Palin hadn't already actually said enough idiotic things in her short period in the public spotlight before September 2008, not only would no-one have ever actually believed that she'd said she could see Russia from her house -- it never would have occurred to Fey to satirize Palin by portraying her as saying so.

Politicians and political journalists blaming satire for their problems is really sad. I hope Geraghty refocuses his righteous passion for truth, and returns to his usual headlines about how Obama was born in Hawaii and was a brilliant student in college and law school.

Election-Season Math

Bill has 40-some dollars left on his food-stamp card, and between 9 days and two weeks to go before he gets his October food stamps. He's 12 pounds overweight. 45 years ago Bill got some shrapnel in his left leg in Vietnam. He has had surgery on that leg four times. The most recent time was 12 years ago and removed the last remaining shrapnel embedded in Bill's bones. 9 years ago Bill tore his right ACL, and it's been 2 years since his limp (both legs) decreased enough that only 3 percent of the people who see him walking notice it. Bill ran 1/2 mile yesterday and plans to do it again tomorrow. Bill has 3 kids, 2 daughters-in-law, 3 grandchildren, 1 wife and 2 part-time jobs. One of these jobs pays $7.25 per hour. On Friday, Mitt Romney released his 2011 Federal tax return. If one train leaves Chicago at 9 PM traveling westward at 45 miles per hour, and another train leaves Dallas traveling northward at 35 miles per hour, how many times does Bill want to punch Mitt Romney in the head?

National Security

A day before the 11th anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks, former Vice President Dick Cheney jabbed President Barack Obama over a new report that he opted not to attend a number of presidential daily briefings, a decision that Cheney claims is indicative of his aloofness on national security.

(Trying to imagine possible reasons why security briefings with W may have been scheduled more often and lasted longer than with Obama: "Mr President, today in Pakistan... no, over here, Mr President. Pakisten is over here on the map... No, over here, Mr President. It's this big blue country on the map... No, Sir, that's Madagascar... No, that's Canada... [aside] Jesus Christ! Well, it's a living. Do you have any keys on you? Keys on a chain, something like that. Something shiny and jingly I can use to get his attention... Thanks... [full voice again] Over here! See? Over here! Over here! Yes! that's Pakistan, Mr President! Yaaaaay, Mr President! Now, Mr President, as I was saying, today in Pakistan...")

Today's Shocking Republican Congressional News

This is shocking! Today both houses of Congress passed legislation changing the distribution of the 538 electoral votes used to elect the President. From now on the electoral votes will be divided among the states according to their geographical size instead of their population.

Furthermore, in an unusual move, Congressional Republicans have prevented the bill from going to the White House to await President Obama's signature or veto. Instead they are claiming that the bill is already law, and that it wouldn't be fair to involve the President in this, as it affects him and his political future so directly. Instead they are ordering Federal, state and local election officials to enact the changes. As of now, according to Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio), Alaska, and no longer California, is the state whose voters will control the largest number of electoral votes.

"I've received countless e-mails and letters from my constituents complaining about the unfairness of the old system," read an official press release from the Speaker's office. "They looked at maps projecting the November election, they saw much more red than blue, and they couldn't understand how so many liberal media outlets still could continue to maintain that Obama was leading in the polls. As of today, those good people can sleep soundly again, knowing that fairness has been restored to the American political process."

So far this reporter has been unable to receive any comments on the matter from Congressional Democrats or White house officials, nor has he received indications that other reporters have received such communications. Several times he has seen Democrats approaching live microphones or computer keyboards, only to be wrestled to the ground by SWAT personnel dressed all in black with their faces covered, with no badges or labels on their uniforms or anything else indicating what Federal or other organization they might be affiliated with.