Dream Blog: Glass Half-Empty, Glass Half-Full

In real life, I haven't had Medicaid for the past two months, or food stamps for longer than that. The Michigan Department of Human Services stopped giving me both of those benefits, without just cause, and a law firm which represents me has been trying to get my benefits back, and I've been wondering what was taking so long. Specifically, I had begun to wonder whether the paralegal handling my case was completely incompetent. I had been getting increasingly frustrated about this, and last night, I had a nightmare about it. I dreamed that the Michigan DHS was in the dingy basement of an old house, and that, in the middle of the night, some DHS employees and I went to that basement.

I went there with them hoping to get my case straightened out. However, it turned out that they were all idiots, and badly-behaved idiots to boot. They basically ransacked their own offices like unsupervised children. I had suggested to them that they could access my case via the computers on their desks. Instead, they used those computers to make all sorts of alterations to their own profiles. Nobody seemed to understand or care about what I was saying.

Eventually, I figured out that they weren't doing much at all with the computers. The files concerning themselves were on a very low-access level. Like children with no passwords or hacking aptitude, they were unable to access any files which meant anything. Physically, however, they made a God-awful mess of the offices. Paper, office supplies, break-room food and straight-up dirt were all over the office floors, and sticky fingerprints were acccumulating on all of the walls.

But then the nightmare part of the dream was over, and I began to think about a very beautiful woman. I had seen pictures and video of her online. I wasn't sure whether she was the actress Alice Eve --

-- or someone else. She looked a lot like Alice Eve, but she had a delightful, infectious smile and laugh which seemed like someone else. Eventually I figured out that the woman I was dreaming about was a combination of Alice Eve, the movie star, and Shannon Keenan --

-- the Irish YouTube star who tells people where to find crack in Dublin.

Perhaps I should explain: according to Wikipedia,

"Craic or crack is a term for news, gossip, fun, entertainment, and enjoyable conversation, particularly prominent in Ireland. It is often used with the definite article – the craic – as in the expression 'What's the craic?'"

The Irish pronounce crack or craic "crack." I'm pretty sure that Shannon Keenan doesn't smoke crack. At the very least, not very much of it. Probably none at all, if I had to guess. Although she can be seen getting drunk on several "Irish People Try [...]" videos on YouTube. Anyway, apart from a possible drinking problem, she seems to be a delightfully cheerful and energetic young lady.

So anyway, about the time that I figured out that I was dreaming about Alice Eve and Shannon Keenan, I woke up.

And then I saw that I had an email from the head of the law firm which represents me, explaining to me that, in the Trump era, Michigan DHS is doing their level best to screw over poor people in general, and that the paralegal handling my case has been working closely with her, the head of the law firm. So -- good news: my paralegal is not an idiot at all. Bad news: we are living under a fascist regime. Vote Democratic, and don't stop voting Democratic.

So, to interpret my dream: it started out with me worrying about my Medicaid; until, while fast asleep, I reminded myself that I'm an optimist living in a world full of beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, talented, extremely good-looking people like Alice Eve and Shannon Keenen -- neither of whom, I would guess if you held a gun to my head and forced me to guess, is addicted to crack cocaine, although Ms Keenen, with her truly delightful smile and laugh, does explore Dublin craic professionally.

(Crack cocaine, craic -- two different things!)

People Being Hurt By the Trump Administration

In case you've been fortunate enough not to have been adversely affected by the Trump administration's policies slashing funding for social safety-net programs, and wondering whether anyone you know personally is feeling the effects --

-- well, for example, there's me. My food stamps have been discontinued and then continued again, back and forth a couple of times. Currently they've been cut off for a few months. And now the Social Security Administration informs me that they intend to discontinue my disability benefits as of next month. My Medicaid would be gone, and I might owe the government some money for years' worth of benefits they are now alleging that I was not eligible for.

A paralegal at the legal firm which represents me says that the threat to drop me from Disability and Medicaid is a simple mix-up and will be straightened out without too much trouble, internally, within Social Security, without having to take my case to court, and I shouldn't worry. I'm trying not to worry. As far as my food stamps are concerned, they're not sure whether or not those will be continued. They're looking into it.

And I'm doing a lot better than many disability recipients in that I have a lawyer. I can picture someone getting letters like the ones I've been getting from Social Security and having no idea what they mean (I had no idea what they meant, the paralegal had to explain them to me) or what to do about it.

I'm pretty sure I know what the Trump administration would like us to do about it -- die in the streets like dogs, after they've seized everything we have. That's what they'd like us to do.

Like I said, I'm trying not to worry. I hope that paralegal knows what she's talking about. I'm hoping I'm wrong when it feels to me that is Trump appointees coming after me and everything I own (it's not much), and that it's very, very personal.