A man shaves with a straight razor, dresses, tucks his fountain pen and mechanical pocket watch into his waistcoat, dusts off his spats, leaves his home and walks across the street paved with cobblestones to his internal-combustion car, which he drives with its manual transmission to his club, where he dines on steak and oysters, and then relaxes before the fireplace with a cigar and a snifter of brandy, exchanging witticisms in Latin with other club members while someone extemporizes upon the grand piano.
16 things which either are, or are perceived to be, in decline: straight razors, fountain pens, mechanical pocket watches, waistcoats, spats, cobblestones, internal combustion engines, manual transmissions, private clubs, steak, oysters, fireplaces, cigars, brandy, the Latin language and grand pianos. But each of those things are staunchly defended by groups small or large. Internal combustion still predominates, but it will be outnumbered by electric vehicles much sooner than some people realize, while not soon enough to suit some of us, who are concerned about climate catastrophe.
The number of people who eat steak is shrinking, and it seems it will continue to shrink. Vegans consider the human consumption of beef to be a catastrophe in several major ways, while others think that life without the possibility of steak would be a disaster, and I must say that I sympathize with both sides in this fight. The vegans make very convincing arguments. On the other hand, we still have teeth designed to tear flesh, and the smell of a well-prepared steak still makes our mouths water. It still makes my mouth water, at least. Are the vegans really immune to this lure?
I think that if the vegans want to win, they will have to produce great quantities of delicious vegan food. And it seems that many vegans agree, because the amount of truly delicious vegan food is growing at an amazing rate. This will be much more effective than the stereotypical unbearable self-righteous disapproving vegan.
I've written often in this blog about my love for mechanical watches. But even I am wearing a G-Shock right now. They just work better. Yes, can get a mechanical watch which does 80% of what a $100 quartz watch does, almost as well as the quartz watch. You can get such a mechanical watch for as little as $50,000.
Fountain pens are more of a mixed bag compared to ballpoints and gel. Fountain pens can, unquestionably, do much more than other pens. But the amount of work it takes to keep them working is -- well, it's much more than the amount of work it takes to wind a watch every day, if your mechanical watch is not an automatic wristwatch which winds itself as your wrist moves when you wear it.
If you're an American, you may or may not be amazed to learn how many cobblestones are still in use in Europe, and even on a few of New York city's streets, and for all I know, maybe in many other American cities too. What about cobblestones in Canada? Or Latin America? Hey, good questions! I don't know.
Anyway, maybe I've been a bit of a douchebag for the way that I've repeatedly attacked nostalgia, because I feel a protective urge for most of these old-timey things, and I can at least sympathize with most of the rest. And that doesn't make me, or anyone else who likes these things, reactionary.
But, Aha! you exclaim. The club! It excluded women, and most men, too!
But Aha! yourself, I shout back at you. Just because you were in the club in 1903 didn't mean you weren't progressive. You could go to the club and argue that club membership, and even the vote! should be given to all women and men. Just because you love a stick shift doesn't mean you're not going to get an EV -- or even a bus pass. Loving history does not mean that you hate every progressive evolution. Conversely, cheering on ever-better automatic transmissions and EV's, and doing away with writing on paper altogether, let alone fountain pens, and being vegan, and having been the first to abandoned straight razors and spats -- alas, none of that guarantees that you are not, politically, socially, a reactionary pig! You can't judge the citizen by her timepiece!
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