I Didn't Work Out With a 300-Pound Medicine Ball Today

I went into the sporting-goods store, went right for the 20-lb medicine ball lying on the floor and lifted it up. The young lady working the cash register asked if I needed any help. I told her the truth: that I had just come in there to do a set with the 20-pounder.

I asked whether she was aware that medicine balls as big as 300 lbs were made and offered to the public. She said no, seemed genuinely surprised and asked what medicine balls so big could possibly be used for.

I told her that I saw two possibilities: 1) Frontin'.

Somebody might buy a 300-lb medicine ball just so they could pay 3 or 4 strong people to carry it into their home, and keep it on their floor and try to convince other people that they actually exercised with it; and 2) I asked if she'd seen those World's Strongest Man contests on TV. She said she had. I pointed out that in those competitions, sometimes kegs and stones and other unwieldy objects were lifted which weighed 300 lbs or more. I asked rhetorically: How would someone train for such a competition, if not with a 300-lb medicine ball?

We chatted a little bit more about medicine balls. Just in case it's not already completely obvious: I'm fascinated by medicine balls these days. I happen to have owned an 8-pounder and a 5-kilogram ball for years. I googled looking for exercises in which I wouldn't actually have to throw the balls. One thing I found is called the Russian Twist.

I am really feelin' the Russian Twist right now, which I've been doing with the 8-pound ball. I'm feeling it in a really good way. I guess, technically, a Russian Twist is not done with a weight, and if you do it with a medicine ball or some other weight in your hands, it's a Weighted Russian Twist.

After my stop at the sporting-goods store, I walked around the strip mall. Literally: I walked all 360 degrees around it. I saw one bird in the trees behind the strip mall; it was flying too fast and close for me to tell what kind of bird it was. I walked for about 40 minutes altogether. Got a little endorphine thing going on right now. Hope I don't feel 300 years old and like all my bones have been crushed when I wake up tomorrow morning. I think I'll be okay. I think I may finally be doing that thing I've been telling myself to do for years and failing to do: starting an exercise routine and building it up gradually, in a sustainable way, without injuring myself. Those 5-mile walks I was doing a couple of months ago, soon after my surgery: that was overdoing it. That was unsustainable. But I should be able eventually to do 5 miles and more at a stretch, by gradually working up to it, and carrying drinking water with me. I don't have to get there today. I don't have to be a beautiful super-athlete today -- and it's a good thing that I don't have to do it today, cause I can't do it today. 40 minutes walking and a little bit of light, careful medicine-ball work was good for today. Plus plenty of stretching.

Did I mention how much I love the medicine balls? I can picture myself carrying a medicine ball on a long walk as if it were a pampered dog. And by the way, I have found a way to throw a medicine ball in my house: I just lie flat on my back and push the ball with both hands straight up, hard as I can. So far, I don't seem to be in danger of putting a hole in the ceiling.