Upcoming Books From Steven Bollinger

First of all, I've got to surf the Jordan B Peterson wave:

I will do this with my book 0 Rules for Life: Welcome to the Existentialist Void, the first honest self-help book. The first one that tells you that all self-help books are crap, and that you've got to figure out some stuff for yourself. It will be an introduction to existentialism (which is also known as common sense), thinly disguised as self-help crap: "The good news is also the bad news: there are no rules for life, except those you make for yourself. You make your own rules whether you want to or not, whether you realize it or not. Embrace the terror and embrace the freedom: they are one and the same." And so on. Motivational crap like that.

In fiction, there's my already long-awaited novel. I've mentioned this one before: Because it's There. It's the story of an unmotivated young man who suddenly, in one instant, is struck by a powerful motivation: to cross the entire world with no vehicles, motorized or non-. This includes no boats, rafts or even life jackets. Yeah, you can bet that the swimming will be the hard part!

And then there will be the dozens if not hundreds of books consisting of essays from this very blog. Did you realize that I've posted on The Wrong Monkey nearly 1700 times? As John Cleese said in that cheese shop which was utterly uncontaminated by chesse: "What a senseless waste of human life!"

All I need is a genius agent or a Kickstarter campaign or generous patrons or something. Anything. As always, all I need is all the help I can get. SPREAD THE HYPE! Spread it thick like decadent jelly. Spread it high, spread it low. Go spread it on the mountain. Go Spread Me. Spread me like the nice monkey I am. Spread me before I spread again!

Almost forgot: there are also the 2 novels I've already finished and nearly forgotten: Salvation, my version of the story of Jesus in which Jesus is an atheist, Jesus and Pilate are good friends, and Christianity spreads as the result of a series of misunderstandings. For example, in my version, Jesus says, DON'T turn the other cheek. If you're not going to fight back, then at least cover up or run away. Misunderstandings like that.

Then there's my second novel, The Independents, which is about 300 or 400 pages long.

Then there are the two novels I've begun on this blog: the one with angels, with no title yet; and Because of Mistakes!, a novel about some people in London in 1900, at least two of whom are autistic. (It's not a mistake to refer to autism in 1900: it's an anachronism of which the author is aware. A piece of poetic license.)