Friday, March 18, 2016

Great Big Fat Guy, Day 140

Yesterday I had another big arugula salad, but I think I put too much proteins and fat into it.

And then late last night I ate an entire box of TGIF frozen mozarella sticks at one sitting. I didn't feel so great after that. And I said to myself: "I think I just ate a pound of cheese." This morning I went and looked at the information on the box, and, yes: net weight over 17 ounces and almost all of that was cheese, so, yeah, either a pound of cheese, or close to it.

If you want to lose weight you shouldn't go around eating a pound of cheese at one sitting.

And the mozzarella sticks weren't even very good. I think it's past time for me to stop trying to figure out what the whole excitement is about mozzarella sticks, and accept that I'm just one of those people who doesn't love them. I'm not crazy about chili cheese fries either, which makes me wonder whether I'm one of those people -- one of those rare people, to judge from what some say -- who wouldn't like poutine. And of course, none of this is bad news for someone who wants to lose weight.

I'll chalk up mozzarella sticks experience to experience, maybe spend a little more time looking at nutritional information before I eat something. Also, I'll keep in mind that the day before yesterday, after I ate that salad which was really a salad and not a big pile of fattening stuff mixed with arugula, I felt good. Then yesterday when I mixed too much fattening stuff into the arugula salad, afterwards I didn't feel great. And even less so after the 1300-calorie pound of cheese.

Also today I lost my temper and screamed at somebody on the phone who totally didn't deserve that. I don't know exactly how that's related to the rest of this post, except that I often hear people talk about a link between obesity and unresolved issues. I've often heard the phrase "eating your feelings." In any case, I can't go around screaming at people. I'm 54 years old, I should grow up.

The other day somebody on TV, I think it was an LA rapper on the Vice TV program "Noisey," said that getting rich and famous doesn't change you, it just makes you more like you are. Is he right? I plan on being a rich and famous writer very soon. Will that make me weigh 500 pounds? Or will it increase the part of me that exercises?

You know what, I don't really believe that. I think getting rich and famous will change a lot of things about me, for the better. I don't think it will destroy me. I think I'm going to lose weight and scream less at people who don't deserve it, because those are changes that I want which are within my control, and I want them enough that they'll happen, and I think those things will be unaffected by my financial circumstances and popularity. I think getting rich and famous will greatly improve my social life, because I'll be popular. I don't think I'll let a lot of fake friends ruin things for me or blow a fortune on Faberge eggs or make a drunken spectacle of myself. As far as making a spectacle of myself at all, that ship may have sailed when I was born autistic, but learning about my condition helps.

I don't think I use being autistic as an excuse for being an asshole. 2 different people have accused me of that. Those 2 people may know each other, but as far as I know, they don't, and they came up with that assessment of me independently. Unless it's some sort of slogan... *googling* Hm, yes, it does seem to be sort of a slogan, which makes it less of a coincidence that 2 different people accused me of it. Anyway, I don't think I do it. I'm aware that I'm an asshole sometimes -- that alone, of course, puts me ahead of some assholes -- and I'm not proud of it, and I'm not trying to get away with it, I'm trying to improve. Being autistic was no excuse for screaming on the phone today. There was no excuse for that.

Saying that i think those 2 people were wrong with their criticism doesn't mean that I ignore criticism. Before coming to the conclusion that those people were wrong about me using autism as an excuse, I thought about it quite a lot.

What if that rapper is exactly right, and the part of me that fame and fortune magnifies is the part that constantly wants to improve? That'd be pretty cool, as long as I watch out about getting a swelled head.

Free Your Mind... and Your Ass Will Follow. That's the title of Funkadelic's 2nd album, and maybe some fairly good advice as well.

Time for Katy:

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